WEBVTT

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>> When I was really
honest with myself,

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I felt like my situation
was too broken.

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I was too far gone.

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Mental illness was
too big of a monster.

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I believed for so long
these lies

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that played on a loop
over my head.

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At that time in my life,
I was more partnered with

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the lies than I was with
the kingdom narrative.

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<i>Portrait artist,</i>
<i>Meshali Mitchell</i>

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<i>came out from</i>
<i>behind the camera</i>

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<i>to share her difficult journey</i>
<i>of healing. Next!</i>

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♪

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TAMMY: Hello, everybody!

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Welcome to <i>Life Today</i>.

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I'm Tammy Trent,

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and I'm so glad you're here.

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But maybe today you're here

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watching with a quiet ache

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in your heart,

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carrying something broken

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that you've tried to bury

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or fix on your own.

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You've prayed, you've hope,

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but maybe you feel stuck in

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the rubble of disappointment,

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of hurt

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or unanswered questions.

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Can I gently remind you

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of something?

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God hasn't given up

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on your story.

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He's not afraid of the mess.

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He's not done working.

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In fact, what feels like

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the end might actually be

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the beginning of restoration.

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Not just a patch job

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or a quick fix,

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but something deep

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like soul level healing,

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where the broken places

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don't just get repaired,

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but they get repurposed

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for beauty, for freedom,

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and deeper intimacy

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with Jesus.

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And that's exactly the kind

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of transformation

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we're talking about today.

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My guest, Meshali Mitchell

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knows that kind

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of healing firsthand.

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For years, she's captured

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stories behind the lens

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of her camera.

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But in her new book, <i>Restored</i>,

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she opens up

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for the first time

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her own story.

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It's raw, it's real, and

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it's filled with hope

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for anyone who's ready to stop

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hiding and start healing,

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in Jesus name.

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Welcome, Meshali.

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I'm so glad you're here.

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MESHALI: Thank you so much

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for having me.

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I'm so honored to be here

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and excited to be with you.

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Thank you so much.

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TAMMY: Oh, I love it.

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We know a lot of the same

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friends, so it's been fun

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to have this connection

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just to actually have for

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ourselves for the first time.

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And you're an incredible

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photographer.

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Let me just say that.

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You've shot everybody --

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with a camera that is!

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MESHALI: You have

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to clarify that. Yeah.

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TAMMY: Exactly! Yes.

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And I'm so excited

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to finally meet you.

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I'm going to start up

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at the top.

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And I want to rewind.

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So take me back, take all

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of us back to that little girl

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growing up in a small town

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of Arkansas.

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MESHALI: So I was born

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and raised in small town

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in Arkansas,

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in a minister's family.

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So I was raised in the ways

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of the Lord.

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We had a very nontraditional

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ministry family.

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I wasn't a pastor's kid,

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I was an evangelist's kid.

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So my dad traveled 48 weeks

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a year my whole life

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preaching the gospel

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and still does to this day.

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He's my favorite evangelist,

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a great evangelist.

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So from a ministry home,

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born and raised.

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I always say though that,

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you know, ministry families,

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doesn't exempt you from pain.

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So I had a great upbringing,

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good parents,

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great hometown and all that,

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but when I was 12,

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I faced what we call

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in the book my first

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cataclysmic crash

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and had an experience.

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My first experience

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with trauma

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and a wounding that

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really crushed my spirit.

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It was the divorce of

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my parents, but it impacted me

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in a deep way being

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the oldest of three

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in a ministry family.

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Soon after that,

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and I'm kind of giving you

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the CliffsNotes version,

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I faced some sexual trauma.

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I always say that those

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two events in my young life,

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especially in developmental

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years, really impacted

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my soul and crushed my spirit

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in a deep, impactful way.

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So instead of healing,

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we really didn't have

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the tools during that time.

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I didn't really know what

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to do with my trauma

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or my pain.

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Instead of healing, I hid.

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I began to hide behind a mask

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of perfectionism,

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and I really masked my pain

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in order to survive.

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So through my teen years,

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I was really kind of coping

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and surviving with this

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deep internal pain,

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continuing to serve the Lord

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but wasn't living

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the John 10:10 abundant life

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that Jesus promised us

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in John 10:10.

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TAMMY: You probably didn't

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know how to really, though.

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I mean, you're hiding stuff.

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You don't know who to talk to.

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You don't have the tools.

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It's like, how do I even

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know what abundant life is?

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I'm just surviving.

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MESHALI: That's right,

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I was surviving.

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I was so young at the time,

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too, and, really counseling

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and all of that was really

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taboo during my teen years,

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especially in the church.

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Thank the Lord, there's

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a new narrative around

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mental health and counseling

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in the church today,

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and the Lord's doing so much.

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I've been a beneficiary

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of that. But yeah,

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through my teen years,

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like I said, I was

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coping and surviving.

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Instead of healing and,

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you know, the Lord was doing

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a work in me, but I was

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really struggling with

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hiding behind perfectionism.

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So I went on to Bible school

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and thought, Bible school

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may heal me and fix me.

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TAMMY: I've been there,

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been there too.

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MESHALI: And may heal

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these internal wounds that

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I was dealing with privately.

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So much shame,

00:05:23.523 --> 00:05:24.824 align:start line:85% position:10% size:40%
so much anxiety,

00:05:24.891 --> 00:05:26.225 align:start line:85% position:10% size:35%
so much panic.

00:05:26.292 --> 00:05:27.527 align:start line:85% position:10% size:48%
And the more I hid,

00:05:27.593 --> 00:05:29.996 align:start line:85% position:10% size:73%
the worse those problems got.

00:05:30.063 --> 00:05:31.230 align:start line:85% position:10% size:63%
So I went to Bible school

00:05:31.297 --> 00:05:32.732 align:start line:85% position:10% size:63%
thinking that may fix me.

00:05:32.799 --> 00:05:33.800 align:start line:85% position:10% size:58%
And surprise, surprise,

00:05:33.866 --> 00:05:35.068 align:start line:85% position:10% size:70%
it didn't bring the healing,

00:05:35.134 --> 00:05:36.202 align:start line:85% position:10% size:53%
the deep healing that

00:05:36.269 --> 00:05:38.171 align:start line:85% position:10% size:60%
I needed so desperately.

00:05:38.237 --> 00:05:39.405 align:start line:85% position:10% size:70%
So, like I said, CliffsNotes

00:05:39.472 --> 00:05:40.807 align:start line:85% position:10% size:70%
version is I got to a place.

00:05:40.873 --> 00:05:41.941 align:start line:85% position:10% size:53%
You know, desperation

00:05:42.008 --> 00:05:43.176 align:start line:85% position:10% size:43%
is really a gift.

00:05:43.242 --> 00:05:44.177 align:start line:85% position:10% size:63%
In hindsight, I look back

00:05:44.243 --> 00:05:46.079 align:start line:85% position:10% size:50%
and I was desperate.

00:05:46.145 --> 00:05:47.613 align:start line:85% position:10% size:60%
Pain demands to be felt,

00:05:47.680 --> 00:05:49.916 align:start line:85% position:10% size:70%
and I say I was bleeding out

00:05:49.982 --> 00:05:50.917 align:start line:85% position:10% size:28%
in my life.

00:05:50.983 --> 00:05:52.118 align:start line:85% position:10% size:50%
I got to my mid 20s,

00:05:52.185 --> 00:05:53.152 align:start line:85% position:10% size:58%
I was putting Band-Aids

00:05:53.219 --> 00:05:54.554 align:start line:85% position:10% size:63%
over bullet holes, I say,

00:05:54.620 --> 00:05:56.923 align:start line:85% position:10% size:60%
and, I was bleeding out.

00:05:56.989 --> 00:05:58.591 align:start line:85% position:10% size:65%
And now hindsight is 2020.

00:05:58.658 --> 00:05:59.759 align:start line:85% position:10% size:50%
I look back and that

00:05:59.826 --> 00:06:01.627 align:start line:85% position:10% size:60%
desperation was a mercy,

00:06:01.694 --> 00:06:03.563 align:start line:85% position:10% size:50%
and I began to seek.

00:06:03.629 --> 00:06:05.064 align:start line:85% position:10% size:70%
I came to the end of my rope

00:06:05.131 --> 00:06:06.232 align:start line:85% position:10% size:30%
emotionally.

00:06:06.299 --> 00:06:07.433 align:start line:85% position:10% size:75%
TAMMY: Still at Bible college?

00:06:07.500 --> 00:06:08.668 align:start line:85% position:10% size:60%
MESHALI: I had graduated

00:06:08.735 --> 00:06:09.736 align:start line:85% position:10% size:70%
from Bible school, and I was

00:06:09.802 --> 00:06:10.937 align:start line:85% position:10% size:58%
just getting into life.

00:06:11.003 --> 00:06:12.338 align:start line:85% position:10% size:60%
But it was, like I said,

00:06:12.405 --> 00:06:13.606 align:start line:85% position:10% size:58%
those rooms of my heart

00:06:13.673 --> 00:06:15.174 align:start line:85% position:10% size:73%
that had not been dealt with.

00:06:15.241 --> 00:06:16.409 align:start line:85% position:10% size:70%
TAMMY: How old would you say

00:06:16.476 --> 00:06:17.844 align:start line:85% position:10% size:58%
you were at that point?

00:06:17.910 --> 00:06:20.713 align:start line:63% position:10% size:60%
MESHALI: I was around 25

00:06:20.780 --> 00:06:22.782 align:start line:63% position:10% size:65%
when I just got to a place

00:06:22.849 --> 00:06:24.383 align:start line:63% position:10% size:65%
of desperation in my life,

00:06:24.450 --> 00:06:25.718 align:start line:63% position:10% size:30%
emotionally.

00:06:25.785 --> 00:06:26.853 align:start line:63% position:10% size:48%
I so desperately --

00:06:26.919 --> 00:06:28.054 align:start line:63% position:10% size:75%
I knew what Jesus promised and

00:06:28.121 --> 00:06:29.455 align:start line:85% position:10% size:73%
I believed his word was true,

00:06:29.522 --> 00:06:30.623 align:start line:85% position:10% size:63%
the thief comes to steal,

00:06:30.690 --> 00:06:32.325 align:start line:85% position:10% size:75%
kill, and destroy, John 10:10,

00:06:32.391 --> 00:06:33.493 align:start line:85% position:10% size:50%
but I have come that

00:06:33.559 --> 00:06:34.761 align:start line:85% position:10% size:50%
you might have life.

00:06:34.827 --> 00:06:35.962 align:start line:85% position:10% size:45%
And not just life,

00:06:36.028 --> 00:06:37.830 align:start line:85% position:10% size:63%
but life more abundantly.

00:06:37.897 --> 00:06:39.398 align:start line:85% position:10% size:48%
I think we mystify,

00:06:39.465 --> 00:06:40.666 align:start line:85% position:10% size:50%
in the church today,

00:06:40.733 --> 00:06:42.201 align:start line:85% position:10% size:45%
what abundance is.

00:06:42.268 --> 00:06:43.503 align:start line:85% position:10% size:68%
But Jesus talks there about

00:06:43.569 --> 00:06:44.971 align:start line:85% position:10% size:53%
a soul abundance that

00:06:45.037 --> 00:06:46.973 align:start line:85% position:10% size:63%
he's promised us, despite

00:06:47.039 --> 00:06:48.541 align:start line:85% position:10% size:68%
our external circumstances.

00:06:48.608 --> 00:06:49.909 align:start line:85% position:10% size:55%
So when I laid my head

00:06:49.976 --> 00:06:51.477 align:start line:85% position:10% size:68%
on my pillow at night, that

00:06:51.544 --> 00:06:52.945 align:start line:85% position:10% size:73%
internal narrative from those

00:06:53.012 --> 00:06:54.514 align:start line:85% position:10% size:63%
old wounds would just be,

00:06:54.580 --> 00:06:56.382 align:start line:85% position:10% size:68%
call them tapes in my head,

00:06:56.449 --> 00:06:57.950 align:start line:85% position:10% size:60%
would just play so loud.

00:06:58.017 --> 00:06:59.152 align:start line:85% position:10% size:55%
And like I said, I was

00:06:59.218 --> 00:07:00.353 align:start line:85% position:10% size:73%
bleeding out in relationships

00:07:00.419 --> 00:07:01.788 align:start line:85% position:10% size:58%
and my way of thinking,

00:07:01.854 --> 00:07:03.456 align:start line:85% position:10% size:63%
I knew it wasn't healthy.

00:07:03.523 --> 00:07:05.424 align:start line:85% position:10% size:50%
So, that desperation

00:07:05.491 --> 00:07:06.959 align:start line:85% position:10% size:38%
served me well,

00:07:07.026 --> 00:07:08.728 align:start line:85% position:10% size:40%
and I sought out

00:07:08.795 --> 00:07:09.996 align:start line:85% position:10% size:70%
and for the very first time,

00:07:10.062 --> 00:07:11.397 align:start line:85% position:10% size:60%
I began to seek healing.

00:07:11.464 --> 00:07:12.799 align:start line:85% position:10% size:58%
So, yeah, my first step

00:07:12.865 --> 00:07:14.100 align:start line:85% position:10% size:48%
in that was finding

00:07:14.167 --> 00:07:15.301 align:start line:85% position:10% size:70%
a great Christian counselor.

00:07:15.368 --> 00:07:16.369 align:start line:85% position:10% size:60%
And I begin that process

00:07:16.435 --> 00:07:17.503 align:start line:85% position:10% size:28%
of healing.

00:07:17.570 --> 00:07:18.704 align:start line:85% position:10% size:60%
TAMMY: Did you ever find

00:07:18.771 --> 00:07:21.507 align:start line:85% position:10% size:53%
yourself feeling like

00:07:21.574 --> 00:07:24.410 align:start line:85% position:10% size:73%
restoration, healing, working

00:07:24.477 --> 00:07:26.445 align:start line:85% position:10% size:60%
through this is possible

00:07:26.512 --> 00:07:27.980 align:start line:85% position:10% size:48%
for everybody else,

00:07:28.047 --> 00:07:29.248 align:start line:85% position:10% size:50%
but it's not for me?

00:07:29.315 --> 00:07:30.383 align:start line:85% position:10% size:53%
Did you ever struggle

00:07:30.449 --> 00:07:31.417 align:start line:85% position:10% size:25%
with that?

00:07:31.484 --> 00:07:33.085 align:start line:85% position:10% size:68%
MESHALI: Yeah. Being raised

00:07:33.152 --> 00:07:34.420 align:start line:85% position:10% size:65%
in church and in ministry,

00:07:34.487 --> 00:07:35.688 align:start line:85% position:10% size:65%
I sat in many conferences,

00:07:35.755 --> 00:07:37.056 align:start line:85% position:10% size:50%
many church services

00:07:37.123 --> 00:07:38.291 align:start line:85% position:10% size:73%
where that shame narrative --

00:07:38.357 --> 00:07:39.826 align:start line:85% position:10% size:70%
you know, I remember looking

00:07:39.892 --> 00:07:41.961 align:start line:85% position:10% size:55%
around at these people

00:07:42.028 --> 00:07:43.396 align:start line:85% position:10% size:63%
that were being delivered

00:07:43.462 --> 00:07:44.630 align:start line:85% position:10% size:60%
and set free and touched

00:07:44.697 --> 00:07:46.299 align:start line:85% position:10% size:28%
by the Lord

00:07:46.365 --> 00:07:47.633 align:start line:85% position:10% size:60%
and the shame narrative,

00:07:47.700 --> 00:07:48.868 align:start line:85% position:10% size:53%
that trauma narrative

00:07:48.935 --> 00:07:50.903 align:start line:85% position:10% size:68%
played so loudly in my head

00:07:50.970 --> 00:07:52.171 align:start line:85% position:10% size:38%
that I believed

00:07:52.238 --> 00:07:53.439 align:start line:85% position:10% size:73%
that restoration was possible

00:07:53.506 --> 00:07:55.708 align:start line:85% position:10% size:50%
for everyone but me.

00:07:55.775 --> 00:07:56.809 align:start line:85% position:10% size:60%
When I was really honest

00:07:56.876 --> 00:07:58.010 align:start line:85% position:10% size:60%
with myself, I felt like

00:07:58.077 --> 00:08:00.046 align:start line:85% position:10% size:70%
my situation was too broken.

00:08:00.112 --> 00:08:02.715 align:start line:85% position:10% size:48%
I was too far gone.

00:08:02.782 --> 00:08:03.983 align:start line:85% position:10% size:65%
Mental illness was too big

00:08:04.050 --> 00:08:06.319 align:start line:85% position:10% size:33%
of a monster.

00:08:06.385 --> 00:08:07.687 align:start line:85% position:10% size:63%
So I believed, instead of

00:08:07.753 --> 00:08:08.788 align:start line:85% position:10% size:53%
the Kingdom narrative

00:08:08.855 --> 00:08:09.956 align:start line:85% position:10% size:33%
over my life,

00:08:10.022 --> 00:08:11.190 align:start line:85% position:10% size:70%
believing in partnering with

00:08:11.257 --> 00:08:12.692 align:start line:85% position:10% size:65%
the truth and the kingdom,

00:08:12.758 --> 00:08:13.960 align:start line:85% position:10% size:55%
I believed for so long

00:08:14.026 --> 00:08:16.629 align:start line:85% position:10% size:55%
these lies that played

00:08:16.696 --> 00:08:18.998 align:start line:85% position:10% size:58%
on a loop over my head.

00:08:19.065 --> 00:08:20.499 align:start line:85% position:10% size:60%
At that time in my life,

00:08:20.566 --> 00:08:21.701 align:start line:85% position:10% size:63%
I was more partnered with

00:08:21.767 --> 00:08:23.002 align:start line:85% position:10% size:60%
the lies than I was with

00:08:23.069 --> 00:08:24.070 align:start line:85% position:10% size:55%
the Kingdom narrative.

00:08:24.136 --> 00:08:25.304 align:start line:85% position:10% size:48%
TAMMY: That is key.

00:08:25.371 --> 00:08:26.439 align:start line:85% position:10% size:60%
Everything you just said

00:08:26.505 --> 00:08:27.540 align:start line:85% position:10% size:50%
right there, because

00:08:27.607 --> 00:08:28.674 align:start line:85% position:10% size:38%
it's the truth.

00:08:28.741 --> 00:08:30.209 align:start line:63% position:10% size:70%
So many of us stay partnered

00:08:30.276 --> 00:08:31.944 align:start line:63% position:10% size:70%
with the lie, with something

00:08:32.011 --> 00:08:33.179 align:start line:63% position:10% size:65%
that's not the truth, with

00:08:33.246 --> 00:08:34.747 align:start line:63% position:10% size:65%
the trauma, with the shame

00:08:34.814 --> 00:08:35.882 align:start line:85% position:10% size:48%
and everything that

00:08:35.948 --> 00:08:37.350 align:start line:85% position:10% size:63%
it speaks over our lives.

00:08:37.416 --> 00:08:39.418 align:start line:85% position:10% size:53%
We just stay in that.

00:08:39.485 --> 00:08:40.686 align:start line:85% position:10% size:53%
So how did you change

00:08:40.753 --> 00:08:41.888 align:start line:85% position:10% size:38%
that narrative,

00:08:41.954 --> 00:08:43.522 align:start line:85% position:10% size:53%
like trauma narrative

00:08:43.589 --> 00:08:45.324 align:start line:85% position:10% size:58%
to the truth narrative?

00:08:45.391 --> 00:08:46.726 align:start line:85% position:10% size:73%
MESHALI: So I came to a place

00:08:46.792 --> 00:08:48.094 align:start line:85% position:10% size:63%
in my life, mid-twenties,

00:08:48.160 --> 00:08:49.495 align:start line:85% position:10% size:55%
where I began to apply

00:08:49.562 --> 00:08:51.297 align:start line:85% position:10% size:63%
the James five principle:

00:08:51.364 --> 00:08:53.299 align:start line:85% position:10% size:60%
confess your sins to God

00:08:53.366 --> 00:08:54.567 align:start line:85% position:10% size:60%
and confess your faults.

00:08:54.634 --> 00:08:55.701 align:start line:85% position:10% size:50%
There's a horizontal

00:08:55.768 --> 00:08:57.036 align:start line:85% position:10% size:43%
and a vertical --

00:08:57.103 --> 00:08:58.104 align:start line:85% position:10% size:68%
there's two things going on

00:08:58.170 --> 00:08:59.605 align:start line:85% position:10% size:73%
there, and I begin to confess

00:08:59.672 --> 00:09:01.540 align:start line:85% position:10% size:65%
my faults to someone else,

00:09:01.607 --> 00:09:05.177 align:start line:85% position:10% size:75%
my shortcomings, my struggles.

00:09:05.244 --> 00:09:06.479 align:start line:85% position:10% size:58%
I stopped hiding behind

00:09:06.545 --> 00:09:08.147 align:start line:85% position:10% size:68%
that mask of perfectionism,

00:09:08.214 --> 00:09:09.949 align:start line:85% position:10% size:68%
and I began to be set free.

00:09:10.016 --> 00:09:11.651 align:start line:85% position:10% size:60%
So in my personal story,

00:09:11.717 --> 00:09:12.752 align:start line:85% position:10% size:48%
in mid 20s, I began

00:09:12.818 --> 00:09:14.053 align:start line:85% position:10% size:58%
to seek healing through

00:09:14.120 --> 00:09:15.755 align:start line:85% position:10% size:70%
a great Christian counselor.

00:09:15.821 --> 00:09:17.523 align:start line:85% position:10% size:63%
I began to get plugged in

00:09:17.590 --> 00:09:18.624 align:start line:85% position:10% size:48%
at my local church;

00:09:18.691 --> 00:09:19.725 align:start line:85% position:10% size:63%
really, really plugged in

00:09:19.792 --> 00:09:20.826 align:start line:85% position:10% size:55%
to the local community

00:09:20.893 --> 00:09:21.994 align:start line:85% position:10% size:60%
where I was walking with

00:09:22.061 --> 00:09:23.329 align:start line:85% position:10% size:55%
other strong believers

00:09:23.396 --> 00:09:24.430 align:start line:85% position:10% size:45%
that surrounded me

00:09:24.497 --> 00:09:25.831 align:start line:85% position:10% size:48%
and really knew me.

00:09:25.898 --> 00:09:27.466 align:start line:85% position:10% size:58%
That's a major key too;

00:09:27.533 --> 00:09:28.968 align:start line:85% position:10% size:65%
not hiding behind the mask

00:09:29.035 --> 00:09:31.037 align:start line:85% position:10% size:70%
of perfectionism or religion

00:09:31.103 --> 00:09:32.138 align:start line:85% position:10% size:65%
or all those things we try

00:09:32.204 --> 00:09:33.673 align:start line:85% position:10% size:63%
to hide behind to make us

00:09:33.739 --> 00:09:35.608 align:start line:85% position:10% size:73%
feel okay but really allowing

00:09:35.675 --> 00:09:37.410 align:start line:85% position:10% size:53%
people into my hurts,

00:09:37.476 --> 00:09:39.845 align:start line:85% position:10% size:75%
my struggles, my shortcomings.

00:09:39.912 --> 00:09:41.547 align:start line:63% position:10% size:28%
That's when

00:09:41.614 --> 00:09:42.949 align:start line:63% position:10% size:55%
the Word of God works.

00:09:43.015 --> 00:09:44.383 align:start line:63% position:10% size:55%
So that's when I began

00:09:44.450 --> 00:09:45.952 align:start line:63% position:10% size:58%
to feel and experience,

00:09:46.018 --> 00:09:48.154 align:start line:63% position:10% size:68%
actually experience healing

00:09:48.220 --> 00:09:49.755 align:start line:63% position:10% size:55%
and this abundant life

00:09:49.822 --> 00:09:51.123 align:start line:63% position:10% size:50%
that Jesus promised.

00:09:51.190 --> 00:09:52.591 align:start line:85% position:10% size:60%
TAMMY: And real freedom.

00:09:52.658 --> 00:09:54.260 align:start line:85% position:10% size:58%
Don't you think like --

00:09:54.327 --> 00:09:55.561 align:start line:85% position:10% size:65%
I was raised in the church

00:09:55.628 --> 00:09:57.430 align:start line:85% position:10% size:60%
as well, so I think when

00:09:57.496 --> 00:09:59.498 align:start line:85% position:10% size:65%
we have things, struggles,

00:09:59.565 --> 00:10:00.800 align:start line:85% position:10% size:68%
sin nature, whatever it is,

00:10:00.866 --> 00:10:01.901 align:start line:85% position:10% size:63%
you're like, I'm going to

00:10:01.968 --> 00:10:03.069 align:start line:85% position:10% size:70%
carry this by myself because

00:10:03.135 --> 00:10:04.070 align:start line:85% position:10% size:68%
I don't want anyone else to

00:10:04.136 --> 00:10:05.538 align:start line:85% position:10% size:73%
know I'm not in a good place.

00:10:05.604 --> 00:10:06.605 align:start line:85% position:10% size:53%
Because I should know

00:10:06.672 --> 00:10:07.673 align:start line:85% position:10% size:43%
right from wrong,

00:10:07.740 --> 00:10:08.908 align:start line:85% position:10% size:75%
I should know, in other words,

00:10:08.975 --> 00:10:10.176 align:start line:85% position:10% size:65%
how to go to the Scripture

00:10:10.242 --> 00:10:11.243 align:start line:85% position:10% size:50%
and I should be able

00:10:11.310 --> 00:10:12.311 align:start line:85% position:10% size:38%
to lean on that

00:10:12.378 --> 00:10:13.379 align:start line:85% position:10% size:53%
and know exactly what

00:10:13.446 --> 00:10:14.714 align:start line:85% position:10% size:73%
God's instructions are for me

00:10:14.780 --> 00:10:16.382 align:start line:85% position:10% size:63%
to handle this right now.

00:10:16.449 --> 00:10:17.550 align:start line:85% position:10% size:70%
But I'm not doing that well.

00:10:17.616 --> 00:10:18.584 align:start line:85% position:10% size:60%
But I don't want anybody

00:10:18.651 --> 00:10:19.685 align:start line:85% position:10% size:20%
to know.

00:10:19.752 --> 00:10:20.820 align:start line:85% position:10% size:48%
I think that's even

00:10:20.886 --> 00:10:22.154 align:start line:85% position:10% size:73%
that season of hiding, for me

00:10:22.221 --> 00:10:23.589 align:start line:85% position:10% size:63%
or for you or for anybody

00:10:23.656 --> 00:10:25.024 align:start line:85% position:10% size:68%
watching where you're like,

00:10:25.091 --> 00:10:26.158 align:start line:85% position:10% size:60%
I can handle this alone.

00:10:26.225 --> 00:10:27.793 align:start line:85% position:10% size:58%
I'm too ashamed to tell

00:10:27.860 --> 00:10:29.495 align:start line:85% position:10% size:70%
somebody that I'm struggling

00:10:29.562 --> 00:10:30.596 align:start line:85% position:10% size:40%
today with this.

00:10:30.663 --> 00:10:32.365 align:start line:85% position:10% size:55%
Or even mental health.

00:10:32.431 --> 00:10:33.532 align:start line:85% position:10% size:65%
MESHALI: Yeah, the monster

00:10:33.599 --> 00:10:34.533 align:start line:85% position:10% size:55%
of shame will keep you

00:10:34.600 --> 00:10:35.634 align:start line:85% position:10% size:55%
so isolated as long as

00:10:35.701 --> 00:10:36.902 align:start line:85% position:10% size:28%
you let it.

00:10:36.969 --> 00:10:38.337 align:start line:85% position:10% size:53%
And so I was on that,

00:10:38.404 --> 00:10:39.538 align:start line:85% position:10% size:63%
in the book, I talk about

00:10:39.605 --> 00:10:40.639 align:start line:85% position:10% size:45%
a hamster wheel of

00:10:40.706 --> 00:10:41.774 align:start line:85% position:10% size:75%
perfectionism and performance.

00:10:41.841 --> 00:10:46.178 align:start line:85% position:10% size:73%
And so tired. I was so tired.

00:10:46.245 --> 00:10:48.047 align:start line:85% position:10% size:73%
Like I said, that desperation

00:10:48.114 --> 00:10:50.016 align:start line:85% position:10% size:58%
now that I came to that

00:10:50.082 --> 00:10:51.517 align:start line:85% position:10% size:55%
I thought was so awful

00:10:51.584 --> 00:10:52.852 align:start line:85% position:10% size:63%
really served as a mercy.

00:10:52.918 --> 00:10:54.220 align:start line:85% position:10% size:58%
It was God's mercy that

00:10:54.286 --> 00:10:56.122 align:start line:85% position:10% size:53%
drew me in to a real,

00:10:56.188 --> 00:10:57.123 align:start line:85% position:10% size:55%
like you said earlier,

00:10:57.189 --> 00:10:58.324 align:start line:85% position:10% size:45%
a real freedom and

00:10:58.391 --> 00:11:00.026 align:start line:85% position:10% size:58%
a real healing process.

00:11:00.092 --> 00:11:01.727 align:start line:85% position:10% size:73%
TAMMY: So tell me, let's move

00:11:01.794 --> 00:11:03.262 align:start line:85% position:10% size:63%
from all of that and what

00:11:03.329 --> 00:11:04.497 align:start line:85% position:10% size:65%
God was doing in your life

00:11:04.563 --> 00:11:06.232 align:start line:85% position:10% size:55%
through counseling and

00:11:06.298 --> 00:11:07.600 align:start line:85% position:10% size:70%
in setting it all out there,

00:11:07.666 --> 00:11:08.901 align:start line:85% position:10% size:63%
and community was walking

00:11:08.968 --> 00:11:10.102 align:start line:85% position:10% size:73%
with you, healing was coming,

00:11:10.169 --> 00:11:11.971 align:start line:85% position:10% size:60%
freedom was tasting like

00:11:12.038 --> 00:11:13.272 align:start line:85% position:10% size:63%
it had never felt before,

00:11:13.339 --> 00:11:14.807 align:start line:85% position:10% size:63%
and then God, as you were

00:11:14.874 --> 00:11:16.942 align:start line:85% position:10% size:53%
thinking about a home

00:11:17.009 --> 00:11:18.344 align:start line:85% position:10% size:65%
and I want to buy my home,

00:11:18.411 --> 00:11:19.512 align:start line:85% position:10% size:55%
and maybe a first home

00:11:19.578 --> 00:11:20.646 align:start line:85% position:10% size:55%
as a single girl, like

00:11:20.713 --> 00:11:21.747 align:start line:85% position:10% size:63%
what does that look like?

00:11:21.814 --> 00:11:22.882 align:start line:85% position:10% size:65%
And you got a call one day

00:11:22.948 --> 00:11:23.983 align:start line:85% position:10% size:55%
and someone tells you,

00:11:24.050 --> 00:11:25.317 align:start line:85% position:10% size:73%
you've got to check out this,

00:11:25.384 --> 00:11:26.585 align:start line:85% position:10% size:58%
what was it, a gorgeous

00:11:26.652 --> 00:11:28.254 align:start line:85% position:10% size:53%
brand-new built home?

00:11:28.320 --> 00:11:30.056 align:start line:85% position:10% size:38%
Oh, no! Oh, no!

00:11:30.122 --> 00:11:31.524 align:start line:85% position:10% size:48%
Tell us about that.

00:11:31.590 --> 00:11:32.591 align:start line:85% position:10% size:30%
MESHALI: No,

00:11:32.658 --> 00:11:33.793 align:start line:85% position:10% size:48%
quite the opposite.

00:11:33.859 --> 00:11:34.927 align:start line:85% position:10% size:60%
Yeah, I was in search of

00:11:34.994 --> 00:11:37.430 align:start line:85% position:10% size:55%
my first home in 2018,

00:11:37.496 --> 00:11:38.697 align:start line:85% position:10% size:65%
and a friend of mine who's

00:11:38.764 --> 00:11:39.799 align:start line:85% position:10% size:75%
a believer that went to church

00:11:39.865 --> 00:11:40.933 align:start line:85% position:10% size:58%
with me, was a realtor.

00:11:41.000 --> 00:11:42.101 align:start line:85% position:10% size:55%
I began to talk to her

00:11:42.168 --> 00:11:43.235 align:start line:85% position:10% size:23%
about it.

00:11:43.302 --> 00:11:44.403 align:start line:85% position:10% size:65%
And so we began the search

00:11:44.470 --> 00:11:45.604 align:start line:85% position:10% size:45%
for this home that

00:11:45.671 --> 00:11:46.839 align:start line:85% position:10% size:45%
I was looking for.

00:11:46.906 --> 00:11:48.074 align:start line:85% position:10% size:60%
And I had my sights set,

00:11:48.140 --> 00:11:49.408 align:start line:85% position:10% size:68%
I'll say on something a lot

00:11:49.475 --> 00:11:50.709 align:start line:85% position:10% size:58%
newer and move-in ready

00:11:50.776 --> 00:11:52.578 align:start line:85% position:10% size:58%
and shinier but God had

00:11:52.645 --> 00:11:53.946 align:start line:85% position:10% size:48%
another plan he had

00:11:54.013 --> 00:11:55.648 align:start line:85% position:10% size:43%
in Ephesians 3:20

00:11:55.714 --> 00:11:56.649 align:start line:85% position:10% size:60%
that he was pulling off,

00:11:56.715 --> 00:11:58.250 align:start line:85% position:10% size:45%
and I had no idea.

00:11:58.317 --> 00:11:59.985 align:start line:63% position:10% size:60%
My friend led me to this

00:12:00.052 --> 00:12:02.788 align:start line:63% position:10% size:60%
old 1800s farmhouse that

00:12:02.855 --> 00:12:04.490 align:start line:63% position:10% size:63%
she wanted me to look at.

00:12:04.557 --> 00:12:05.524 align:start line:63% position:10% size:58%
And at first I thought,

00:12:05.591 --> 00:12:07.293 align:start line:63% position:10% size:63%
oh, no, I don't have time

00:12:07.359 --> 00:12:08.360 align:start line:85% position:10% size:23%
for this.

00:12:08.427 --> 00:12:09.829 align:start line:85% position:10% size:58%
This is way beyond what

00:12:09.895 --> 00:12:11.597 align:start line:85% position:10% size:75%
I could ever accomplish or do.

00:12:11.664 --> 00:12:12.865 align:start line:85% position:10% size:45%
But, she calls me,

00:12:12.932 --> 00:12:13.933 align:start line:85% position:10% size:65%
I was on a photography job

00:12:13.999 --> 00:12:15.501 align:start line:85% position:10% size:58%
in Nashville, and says,

00:12:15.568 --> 00:12:16.902 align:start line:85% position:10% size:48%
"Michelle, I really

00:12:16.969 --> 00:12:18.137 align:start line:85% position:10% size:58%
want you to take a look

00:12:18.204 --> 00:12:19.205 align:start line:85% position:10% size:35%
at this house.

00:12:19.271 --> 00:12:20.206 align:start line:85% position:10% size:50%
My heart feels drawn

00:12:20.272 --> 00:12:21.273 align:start line:85% position:10% size:35%
to it for you.

00:12:21.340 --> 00:12:22.408 align:start line:85% position:10% size:53%
And I don't know why.

00:12:22.475 --> 00:12:23.542 align:start line:85% position:10% size:45%
Just take a look."

00:12:23.609 --> 00:12:24.743 align:start line:85% position:10% size:73%
We FaceTimed and she shows me

00:12:24.810 --> 00:12:26.045 align:start line:85% position:10% size:43%
through FaceTime,

00:12:26.112 --> 00:12:28.047 align:start line:85% position:10% size:68%
this 1800s farmhouse needed

00:12:28.114 --> 00:12:29.815 align:start line:85% position:10% size:63%
to be loved back to life.

00:12:29.882 --> 00:12:30.916 align:start line:85% position:10% size:50%
It had been owned by

00:12:30.983 --> 00:12:32.518 align:start line:85% position:10% size:53%
this precious family;

00:12:32.585 --> 00:12:33.686 align:start line:85% position:10% size:65%
had owned it and loved it,

00:12:33.752 --> 00:12:36.388 align:start line:85% position:10% size:50%
and it had gone down

00:12:36.455 --> 00:12:38.791 align:start line:85% position:10% size:45%
over the years and

00:12:38.858 --> 00:12:40.192 align:start line:85% position:10% size:65%
needed somebody to come in

00:12:40.259 --> 00:12:41.560 align:start line:85% position:10% size:70%
and restore it room by room,

00:12:41.627 --> 00:12:42.962 align:start line:85% position:10% size:38%
piece by piece.

00:12:43.028 --> 00:12:44.497 align:start line:85% position:10% size:65%
So I, purchased the house.

00:12:44.563 --> 00:12:46.098 align:start line:85% position:10% size:53%
I'm not a risk taker,

00:12:46.165 --> 00:12:47.433 align:start line:85% position:10% size:50%
but I made the jump.

00:12:47.500 --> 00:12:48.968 align:start line:85% position:10% size:50%
I purchased the home

00:12:49.034 --> 00:12:50.903 align:start line:85% position:10% size:70%
and began to -- I never knew

00:12:50.970 --> 00:12:51.971 align:start line:85% position:10% size:63%
it would become anything.

00:12:52.037 --> 00:12:53.339 align:start line:85% position:10% size:55%
Never knew at the time

00:12:53.405 --> 00:12:54.406 align:start line:85% position:10% size:48%
it would be a book.

00:12:54.473 --> 00:12:55.641 align:start line:85% position:10% size:45%
I just felt drawn,

00:12:55.708 --> 00:12:56.742 align:start line:85% position:10% size:65%
felt compelled to purchase

00:12:56.809 --> 00:12:58.077 align:start line:85% position:10% size:48%
this old house that

00:12:58.144 --> 00:13:00.045 align:start line:85% position:10% size:73%
so many people had passed on.

00:13:00.112 --> 00:13:01.514 align:start line:85% position:10% size:45%
But when I saw it,

00:13:01.580 --> 00:13:02.948 align:start line:85% position:10% size:55%
it was like I saw what

00:13:03.015 --> 00:13:04.617 align:start line:63% position:10% size:58%
could be and should be.

00:13:04.683 --> 00:13:06.051 align:start line:63% position:10% size:68%
I say, like the Holy Spirit

00:13:06.118 --> 00:13:07.453 align:start line:63% position:10% size:58%
sees us, he sees beyond

00:13:07.520 --> 00:13:09.021 align:start line:63% position:10% size:53%
what we are into what

00:13:09.088 --> 00:13:11.090 align:start line:63% position:10% size:65%
we could be and should be.

00:13:11.157 --> 00:13:12.391 align:start line:63% position:10% size:28%
I saw that.

00:13:12.458 --> 00:13:13.492 align:start line:85% position:10% size:53%
I'll never be able to

00:13:13.559 --> 00:13:14.793 align:start line:85% position:10% size:70%
explain it because even now,

00:13:14.860 --> 00:13:16.695 align:start line:85% position:10% size:68%
I look back at pictures and

00:13:16.762 --> 00:13:18.464 align:start line:85% position:10% size:73%
I think, what was I thinking?

00:13:18.531 --> 00:13:19.865 align:start line:85% position:10% size:60%
It was almost like I had

00:13:19.932 --> 00:13:21.133 align:start line:85% position:10% size:58%
Holy Spirit blinders on

00:13:21.200 --> 00:13:22.568 align:start line:85% position:10% size:33%
or something,

00:13:22.635 --> 00:13:25.004 align:start line:85% position:10% size:58%
and purchased the home.

00:13:25.070 --> 00:13:26.272 align:start line:85% position:10% size:73%
I always say, I wish it could

00:13:26.338 --> 00:13:27.439 align:start line:85% position:10% size:63%
have been an HGTV moment,

00:13:27.506 --> 00:13:28.641 align:start line:85% position:10% size:35%
move that bus.

00:13:28.707 --> 00:13:29.875 align:start line:85% position:10% size:50%
Everything overnight

00:13:29.942 --> 00:13:31.110 align:start line:85% position:10% size:33%
was restored.

00:13:31.177 --> 00:13:32.278 align:start line:85% position:10% size:68%
But that wasn't the house's

00:13:32.344 --> 00:13:33.445 align:start line:85% position:10% size:53%
story and that hasn't

00:13:33.512 --> 00:13:34.680 align:start line:85% position:10% size:35%
been my story.

00:13:34.747 --> 00:13:35.981 align:start line:85% position:10% size:58%
So I begin to go in and

00:13:36.048 --> 00:13:37.483 align:start line:85% position:10% size:63%
I began to gut each room,

00:13:37.550 --> 00:13:39.084 align:start line:85% position:10% size:73%
room by room, piece by piece,

00:13:39.151 --> 00:13:40.786 align:start line:85% position:10% size:50%
going in and, making

00:13:40.853 --> 00:13:43.522 align:start line:85% position:10% size:70%
all things new at the house.

00:13:43.589 --> 00:13:44.690 align:start line:85% position:10% size:50%
So, yes, that's been

00:13:44.757 --> 00:13:45.758 align:start line:85% position:10% size:35%
the journey of

00:13:45.824 --> 00:13:46.792 align:start line:85% position:10% size:55%
the house restoration.

00:13:46.859 --> 00:13:47.927 align:start line:85% position:10% size:60%
TAMMY: Tell me about one

00:13:47.993 --> 00:13:48.961 align:start line:85% position:10% size:73%
of your greatest discoveries.

00:13:49.028 --> 00:13:50.095 align:start line:85% position:10% size:53%
And here's the thing.

00:13:50.162 --> 00:13:51.230 align:start line:85% position:10% size:60%
Going back, like you had

00:13:51.297 --> 00:13:52.298 align:start line:85% position:10% size:65%
no idea what God was up to

00:13:52.364 --> 00:13:54.166 align:start line:85% position:10% size:60%
in 2018, but I love that

00:13:54.233 --> 00:13:55.634 align:start line:85% position:10% size:40%
he's never lost.

00:13:55.701 --> 00:13:56.735 align:start line:85% position:10% size:53%
I love that he always

00:13:56.802 --> 00:13:57.803 align:start line:85% position:10% size:28%
has a plan.

00:13:57.870 --> 00:13:58.871 align:start line:85% position:10% size:63%
And it's always different

00:13:58.938 --> 00:13:59.939 align:start line:85% position:10% size:48%
than what we think.

00:14:00.005 --> 00:14:01.006 align:start line:85% position:10% size:35%
It usually is.

00:14:01.073 --> 00:14:02.575 align:start line:85% position:10% size:68%
I mean, I might have pieces

00:14:02.641 --> 00:14:04.109 align:start line:85% position:10% size:55%
of it, but it ends up,

00:14:04.176 --> 00:14:05.411 align:start line:63% position:10% size:68%
the end result, the destiny

00:14:05.477 --> 00:14:06.512 align:start line:63% position:10% size:58%
is always different and

00:14:06.579 --> 00:14:07.646 align:start line:63% position:10% size:58%
it's always better than

00:14:07.713 --> 00:14:09.048 align:start line:63% position:10% size:40%
I ever imagined.

00:14:09.114 --> 00:14:10.349 align:start line:63% position:10% size:68%
So 2018, you buy this house

00:14:10.416 --> 00:14:11.684 align:start line:63% position:10% size:70%
but God was up to something,

00:14:11.750 --> 00:14:12.751 align:start line:63% position:10% size:38%
right? He knew.

00:14:12.818 --> 00:14:14.086 align:start line:85% position:10% size:68%
He placed you in this house

00:14:14.153 --> 00:14:15.154 align:start line:85% position:10% size:53%
for a specific reason

00:14:15.221 --> 00:14:16.222 align:start line:85% position:10% size:53%
and a purpose because

00:14:16.288 --> 00:14:17.823 align:start line:85% position:10% size:70%
he wasn't done with you yet.

00:14:17.890 --> 00:14:18.891 align:start line:85% position:10% size:73%
And I think all of our lives,

00:14:18.958 --> 00:14:20.859 align:start line:85% position:10% size:45%
we're on a journey

00:14:20.926 --> 00:14:22.628 align:start line:85% position:10% size:55%
processing constantly.

00:14:22.695 --> 00:14:23.696 align:start line:85% position:10% size:65%
And he knew that there was

00:14:23.762 --> 00:14:24.930 align:start line:85% position:10% size:65%
still more work to be done

00:14:24.997 --> 00:14:27.233 align:start line:85% position:10% size:70%
in your life piece by piece,

00:14:27.299 --> 00:14:29.401 align:start line:85% position:10% size:73%
room by room, layer by layer.

00:14:29.468 --> 00:14:30.436 align:start line:85% position:10% size:43%
So tell me one of

00:14:30.502 --> 00:14:31.904 align:start line:85% position:10% size:70%
the greatest moments, maybe,

00:14:31.971 --> 00:14:33.005 align:start line:85% position:10% size:58%
that you might have had

00:14:33.072 --> 00:14:34.707 align:start line:85% position:10% size:60%
while you were restoring

00:14:34.773 --> 00:14:37.476 align:start line:85% position:10% size:70%
this 140-some-year-old home,

00:14:37.543 --> 00:14:39.278 align:start line:85% position:10% size:58%
back to life again that

00:14:39.345 --> 00:14:40.946 align:start line:85% position:10% size:70%
had purpose and it had value

00:14:41.013 --> 00:14:42.681 align:start line:85% position:10% size:43%
and it had worse.

00:14:42.748 --> 00:14:44.016 align:start line:85% position:10% size:68%
Did God have a moment or --

00:14:44.083 --> 00:14:45.384 align:start line:85% position:10% size:63%
did you have an encounter

00:14:45.451 --> 00:14:46.652 align:start line:85% position:10% size:55%
where you're like, oh!

00:14:46.719 --> 00:14:48.320 align:start line:85% position:10% size:43%
That right there.

00:14:48.387 --> 00:14:49.722 align:start line:85% position:10% size:53%
MESHALI: There's been

00:14:49.788 --> 00:14:50.823 align:start line:85% position:10% size:58%
so many moments, Tammy.

00:14:50.889 --> 00:14:51.957 align:start line:85% position:10% size:60%
I call them in the book,

00:14:52.024 --> 00:14:53.158 align:start line:85% position:10% size:53%
I call them God winks

00:14:53.225 --> 00:14:54.326 align:start line:85% position:10% size:53%
of just confirmations

00:14:54.393 --> 00:14:55.427 align:start line:85% position:10% size:50%
of hey, I'm in this.

00:14:55.494 --> 00:14:56.629 align:start line:85% position:10% size:58%
On days you feel alone,

00:14:56.695 --> 00:14:58.364 align:start line:85% position:10% size:30%
I'm in this.

00:14:58.430 --> 00:15:00.332 align:start line:85% position:10% size:73%
So one of the biggest stories

00:15:00.399 --> 00:15:01.700 align:start line:85% position:10% size:48%
that I love to tell

00:15:01.767 --> 00:15:03.068 align:start line:85% position:10% size:63%
that really has resonated

00:15:03.135 --> 00:15:04.336 align:start line:85% position:10% size:60%
with listeners, and when

00:15:04.403 --> 00:15:06.538 align:start line:85% position:10% size:73%
I'm on podcasts and all that,

00:15:06.605 --> 00:15:08.007 align:start line:85% position:10% size:58%
is that about the third

00:15:08.073 --> 00:15:09.308 align:start line:85% position:10% size:45%
or fourth day into

00:15:09.375 --> 00:15:10.442 align:start line:85% position:10% size:63%
the first week that I own

00:15:10.509 --> 00:15:11.710 align:start line:85% position:10% size:73%
the home, I walked in one day

00:15:11.777 --> 00:15:12.845 align:start line:85% position:10% size:50%
and we've been doing

00:15:12.911 --> 00:15:13.979 align:start line:85% position:10% size:33%
so much work.

00:15:14.046 --> 00:15:15.080 align:start line:85% position:10% size:55%
I mean, there had been

00:15:15.147 --> 00:15:16.382 align:start line:85% position:10% size:65%
so many projects going on,

00:15:16.448 --> 00:15:17.616 align:start line:85% position:10% size:65%
and there was a contractor

00:15:17.683 --> 00:15:18.684 align:start line:85% position:10% size:48%
that called my name

00:15:18.751 --> 00:15:19.752 align:start line:85% position:10% size:58%
from the back bathroom.

00:15:19.818 --> 00:15:20.819 align:start line:85% position:10% size:58%
And, he said, "Meshali,

00:15:20.886 --> 00:15:21.887 align:start line:85% position:10% size:55%
can you come back here

00:15:21.954 --> 00:15:23.055 align:start line:85% position:10% size:63%
and take a look at this?"

00:15:23.122 --> 00:15:24.123 align:start line:85% position:10% size:58%
I could hear his voice,

00:15:24.189 --> 00:15:25.257 align:start line:85% position:10% size:60%
"I want you to come back

00:15:25.324 --> 00:15:26.425 align:start line:85% position:10% size:65%
and look and tell me where

00:15:26.492 --> 00:15:27.559 align:start line:85% position:10% size:65%
you want to go from here."

00:15:27.626 --> 00:15:28.560 align:start line:85% position:10% size:43%
So I walk back to

00:15:28.627 --> 00:15:30.629 align:start line:85% position:10% size:73%
the bathroom, and in the book

00:15:30.696 --> 00:15:32.264 align:start line:85% position:10% size:73%
I call this "Layers of Life."

00:15:32.331 --> 00:15:33.399 align:start line:85% position:10% size:68%
But he had peeled back this

00:15:33.465 --> 00:15:35.734 align:start line:85% position:10% size:73%
old 1800s farmhouse bathroom.

00:15:35.801 --> 00:15:37.036 align:start line:85% position:10% size:75%
All the layers, all the walls,

00:15:37.102 --> 00:15:38.070 align:start line:85% position:10% size:45%
all the sheetrock,

00:15:38.137 --> 00:15:40.406 align:start line:85% position:10% size:38%
all the layers.

00:15:40.472 --> 00:15:41.674 align:start line:85% position:10% size:73%
He pulled it all the way back

00:15:41.740 --> 00:15:42.741 align:start line:85% position:10% size:63%
and he said, "I've ripped

00:15:42.808 --> 00:15:44.410 align:start line:85% position:10% size:75%
everything back to the studs."

00:15:44.476 --> 00:15:45.544 align:start line:85% position:10% size:68%
And I could hear his voice,

00:15:45.611 --> 00:15:47.079 align:start line:85% position:10% size:63%
but it was almost like --

00:15:47.146 --> 00:15:48.280 align:start line:85% position:10% size:68%
it was almost like a movie.

00:15:48.347 --> 00:15:49.615 align:start line:85% position:10% size:68%
Like his voice was becoming

00:15:49.682 --> 00:15:50.849 align:start line:85% position:10% size:60%
muffled and it was like,

00:15:50.916 --> 00:15:52.051 align:start line:85% position:10% size:75%
the Lord and I, we're standing

00:15:52.117 --> 00:15:53.252 align:start line:85% position:10% size:40%
in the bathroom.

00:15:53.319 --> 00:15:55.187 align:start line:85% position:10% size:53%
And I look around and

00:15:55.254 --> 00:15:57.022 align:start line:85% position:10% size:48%
it's the wallpaper,

00:15:57.089 --> 00:15:58.390 align:start line:85% position:10% size:60%
the same exact wallpaper

00:15:58.457 --> 00:16:00.192 align:start line:85% position:10% size:53%
in this current house

00:16:00.259 --> 00:16:02.761 align:start line:85% position:10% size:73%
as the home that I grew up in

00:16:02.828 --> 00:16:05.030 align:start line:85% position:10% size:65%
that I've shared that held

00:16:05.097 --> 00:16:06.231 align:start line:85% position:10% size:63%
a lot of hurtful memories

00:16:06.298 --> 00:16:07.366 align:start line:85% position:10% size:38%
for me and some

00:16:07.433 --> 00:16:09.101 align:start line:85% position:10% size:48%
really deep trauma,

00:16:09.168 --> 00:16:10.536 align:start line:85% position:10% size:65%
specifically, the bathroom

00:16:10.602 --> 00:16:12.438 align:start line:85% position:10% size:20%
in ways.

00:16:12.504 --> 00:16:14.073 align:start line:85% position:10% size:58%
And so, in that moment,

00:16:14.139 --> 00:16:15.641 align:start line:85% position:10% size:68%
I'm standing there looking,

00:16:15.708 --> 00:16:17.609 align:start line:85% position:10% size:68%
these memories are flashing

00:16:17.676 --> 00:16:18.677 align:start line:85% position:10% size:50%
right before my eyes

00:16:18.744 --> 00:16:19.745 align:start line:85% position:10% size:40%
and in my heart.

00:16:19.812 --> 00:16:21.213 align:start line:85% position:10% size:63%
And the Lord spoke to me,

00:16:21.280 --> 00:16:22.281 align:start line:85% position:10% size:53%
not an audible voice,

00:16:22.348 --> 00:16:23.349 align:start line:85% position:10% size:43%
but in my spirit.

00:16:23.415 --> 00:16:25.351 align:start line:63% position:10% size:50%
I felt this unction,

00:16:25.417 --> 00:16:27.453 align:start line:63% position:10% size:65%
I was there with you then,

00:16:27.519 --> 00:16:29.221 align:start line:63% position:10% size:55%
I'm here with you now,

00:16:29.288 --> 00:16:31.156 align:start line:63% position:10% size:75%
and I'm making all things new.

00:16:31.223 --> 00:16:32.925 align:start line:63% position:10% size:60%
I'm restoring your life.

00:16:32.991 --> 00:16:34.626 align:start line:63% position:10% size:53%
And so I stood there,

00:16:34.693 --> 00:16:36.595 align:start line:85% position:10% size:53%
2018, hammer in hand.

00:16:36.662 --> 00:16:38.364 align:start line:85% position:10% size:55%
I'm looking around and

00:16:38.430 --> 00:16:39.698 align:start line:85% position:10% size:70%
it's like I'm a little girl,

00:16:39.765 --> 00:16:40.833 align:start line:85% position:10% size:55%
but I'm an adult woman

00:16:40.899 --> 00:16:42.034 align:start line:85% position:10% size:45%
all in one moment.

00:16:42.101 --> 00:16:43.135 align:start line:85% position:10% size:45%
The Holy Spirit is

00:16:43.202 --> 00:16:44.169 align:start line:85% position:10% size:63%
so powerful that he knows

00:16:44.236 --> 00:16:45.404 align:start line:85% position:10% size:73%
our past, present, our future

00:16:45.471 --> 00:16:47.039 align:start line:85% position:10% size:53%
all at the same time.

00:16:47.106 --> 00:16:48.107 align:start line:85% position:10% size:55%
And he was speaking to

00:16:48.173 --> 00:16:49.641 align:start line:85% position:10% size:58%
my heart, deep healing,

00:16:49.708 --> 00:16:51.243 align:start line:85% position:10% size:33%
deep healing.

00:16:51.310 --> 00:16:52.978 align:start line:85% position:10% size:53%
And so I stood there,

00:16:53.045 --> 00:16:54.747 align:start line:85% position:10% size:53%
and was reminded that

00:16:54.813 --> 00:16:56.482 align:start line:85% position:10% size:60%
the Lord is restoration.

00:16:56.548 --> 00:16:57.716 align:start line:85% position:10% size:58%
When I look at the word

00:16:57.783 --> 00:17:00.686 align:start line:85% position:10% size:68%
<i>restored</i>, I see restory-ed.

00:17:00.753 --> 00:17:02.354 align:start line:85% position:10% size:65%
That's what I felt in that

00:17:02.421 --> 00:17:03.756 align:start line:85% position:10% size:65%
moment was, I'm giving you

00:17:03.822 --> 00:17:05.157 align:start line:85% position:10% size:50%
a kingdom narrative.

00:17:05.224 --> 00:17:06.492 align:start line:85% position:10% size:68%
I'm giving you a new story,

00:17:06.558 --> 00:17:07.626 align:start line:85% position:10% size:60%
not the trauma narrative

00:17:07.693 --> 00:17:08.660 align:start line:85% position:10% size:50%
that you've believed

00:17:08.727 --> 00:17:09.828 align:start line:85% position:10% size:68%
over your life, but partner

00:17:09.895 --> 00:17:11.463 align:start line:85% position:10% size:65%
with my kingdom narrative.

00:17:11.530 --> 00:17:12.831 align:start line:85% position:10% size:65%
I'm making all things new,

00:17:12.898 --> 00:17:13.899 align:start line:85% position:10% size:20%
Meshali.

00:17:13.966 --> 00:17:15.167 align:start line:85% position:10% size:63%
So in that moment, we put

00:17:15.234 --> 00:17:16.802 align:start line:85% position:10% size:58%
new sheetrock around --

00:17:16.869 --> 00:17:18.837 align:start line:85% position:10% size:75%
even that physical act for me,

00:17:18.904 --> 00:17:20.038 align:start line:85% position:10% size:50%
putting sheetrock in

00:17:20.105 --> 00:17:21.774 align:start line:85% position:10% size:70%
the bathroom and painting it

00:17:21.840 --> 00:17:24.610 align:start line:85% position:10% size:70%
a beautiful alabaster white,

00:17:24.676 --> 00:17:26.178 align:start line:85% position:10% size:70%
it was a God wink, for sure,

00:17:26.245 --> 00:17:27.579 align:start line:85% position:10% size:43%
and a moment that

00:17:27.646 --> 00:17:28.714 align:start line:85% position:10% size:45%
I'll never forget.

00:17:28.781 --> 00:17:29.715 align:start line:85% position:10% size:50%
TAMMY: You know what

00:17:29.782 --> 00:17:31.683 align:start line:63% position:10% size:65%
I can't help but to think?

00:17:31.750 --> 00:17:34.319 align:start line:63% position:10% size:45%
Is that that home,

00:17:34.386 --> 00:17:36.488 align:start line:63% position:10% size:70%
God knowing the big picture,

00:17:36.555 --> 00:17:37.656 align:start line:63% position:10% size:45%
that home has been

00:17:37.723 --> 00:17:40.058 align:start line:63% position:10% size:43%
prepared for you.

00:17:40.125 --> 00:17:41.326 align:start line:85% position:10% size:50%
Was prepared for you

00:17:41.393 --> 00:17:42.561 align:start line:85% position:10% size:50%
through the prayers,

00:17:42.628 --> 00:17:43.695 align:start line:85% position:10% size:45%
through the saints

00:17:43.762 --> 00:17:45.164 align:start line:85% position:10% size:60%
that lived in it before.

00:17:45.230 --> 00:17:46.698 align:start line:85% position:10% size:63%
Now you are going through

00:17:46.765 --> 00:17:48.834 align:start line:85% position:10% size:65%
these layers of your life,

00:17:48.901 --> 00:17:50.302 align:start line:85% position:10% size:68%
and you, I believe, are now

00:17:50.369 --> 00:17:51.703 align:start line:85% position:10% size:48%
preparing that home

00:17:51.770 --> 00:17:53.672 align:start line:85% position:10% size:45%
for somebody else.

00:17:53.739 --> 00:17:55.474 align:start line:85% position:10% size:70%
The walls have been changed,

00:17:55.541 --> 00:17:57.209 align:start line:85% position:10% size:63%
they've been prayed over.

00:17:57.276 --> 00:17:58.410 align:start line:85% position:10% size:43%
Healing has come,

00:17:58.477 --> 00:17:59.578 align:start line:85% position:10% size:43%
freedom has come,

00:17:59.645 --> 00:18:01.847 align:start line:85% position:10% size:70%
restoration has taken place.

00:18:01.914 --> 00:18:03.816 align:start line:85% position:10% size:55%
And when God sees that

00:18:03.882 --> 00:18:06.018 align:start line:85% position:10% size:65%
your time, your assignment

00:18:06.084 --> 00:18:08.587 align:start line:85% position:10% size:65%
is over and you move on to

00:18:08.654 --> 00:18:10.456 align:start line:85% position:10% size:73%
the next season of your life,

00:18:10.522 --> 00:18:11.757 align:start line:85% position:10% size:63%
that home will now become

00:18:11.824 --> 00:18:12.891 align:start line:85% position:10% size:68%
a setup for the next person

00:18:12.958 --> 00:18:14.059 align:start line:85% position:10% size:58%
that walks in and needs

00:18:14.126 --> 00:18:15.661 align:start line:85% position:10% size:75%
to know instantly the presence

00:18:15.727 --> 00:18:17.930 align:start line:85% position:10% size:45%
of God, instantly,

00:18:17.996 --> 00:18:20.365 align:start line:85% position:10% size:53%
the freedom of Jesus,

00:18:20.432 --> 00:18:22.234 align:start line:85% position:10% size:63%
instantly his restoration

00:18:22.301 --> 00:18:23.702 align:start line:85% position:10% size:45%
that can only come

00:18:23.769 --> 00:18:26.438 align:start line:85% position:10% size:73%
in that place in those rooms,

00:18:26.505 --> 00:18:27.539 align:start line:85% position:10% size:70%
because they've been covered

00:18:27.606 --> 00:18:28.707 align:start line:85% position:10% size:53%
by the blood of Jesus

00:18:28.774 --> 00:18:30.409 align:start line:85% position:10% size:33%
from day one.

00:18:30.476 --> 00:18:31.710 align:start line:85% position:10% size:55%
That's a healing home.

00:18:31.777 --> 00:18:33.078 align:start line:85% position:10% size:73%
MESHALI: I love that so much!

00:18:33.145 --> 00:18:34.213 align:start line:85% position:10% size:38%
A healing home.

00:18:34.279 --> 00:18:35.280 align:start line:85% position:10% size:50%
I love that so much.

00:18:35.347 --> 00:18:36.415 align:start line:85% position:10% size:70%
TAMMY: And look, I'm so glad

00:18:36.482 --> 00:18:37.683 align:start line:85% position:10% size:30%
you're here.

00:18:37.749 --> 00:18:38.917 align:start line:85% position:10% size:65%
What a great conversation.

00:18:38.984 --> 00:18:40.185 align:start line:85% position:10% size:60%
I wish we had more time.

00:18:40.252 --> 00:18:41.787 align:start line:85% position:10% size:53%
There are people that

00:18:41.854 --> 00:18:43.322 align:start line:85% position:10% size:68%
I've got to spend time with

00:18:43.388 --> 00:18:44.823 align:start line:85% position:10% size:70%
not too long ago that needed

00:18:44.890 --> 00:18:45.958 align:start line:85% position:10% size:40%
a lot of healing

00:18:46.024 --> 00:18:47.526 align:start line:85% position:10% size:35%
in their life.

00:18:47.593 --> 00:18:48.660 align:start line:85% position:10% size:48%
We're talking today

00:18:48.727 --> 00:18:49.862 align:start line:85% position:10% size:43%
about restoration

00:18:49.928 --> 00:18:51.597 align:start line:85% position:10% size:50%
and transformations.

00:18:51.663 --> 00:18:53.065 align:start line:85% position:10% size:68%
I want you to see something

00:18:53.131 --> 00:18:55.701 align:start line:85% position:10% size:75%
that's going to be hard to see

00:18:55.767 --> 00:18:56.935 align:start line:85% position:10% size:50%
but the beauty of it

00:18:57.002 --> 00:18:58.103 align:start line:85% position:10% size:40%
is what has come

00:18:58.170 --> 00:18:59.705 align:start line:85% position:10% size:35%
from the gifts

00:18:59.771 --> 00:19:00.906 align:start line:85% position:10% size:65%
of people that have helped

00:19:00.973 --> 00:19:02.708 align:start line:85% position:10% size:65%
transform the life of this

00:19:02.774 --> 00:19:04.576 align:start line:85% position:10% size:70%
little girl and has restored

00:19:04.643 --> 00:19:06.111 align:start line:85% position:10% size:55%
her back to wholeness.

00:19:06.178 --> 00:19:07.779 align:start line:85% position:10% size:38%
What she feels,

00:19:07.846 --> 00:19:08.947 align:start line:85% position:10% size:60%
where she wants to live,

00:19:09.014 --> 00:19:10.415 align:start line:85% position:10% size:70%
the abundant life she feels,

00:19:10.482 --> 00:19:11.850 align:start line:85% position:10% size:65%
the wholeness in her life.

00:19:11.917 --> 00:19:13.185 align:start line:85% position:10% size:70%
Take a moment and watch this

00:19:13.252 --> 00:19:14.386 align:start line:85% position:10% size:70%
with me, and then we'll come

00:19:14.453 --> 00:19:15.888 align:start line:85% position:10% size:53%
out on the other side

00:19:15.954 --> 00:19:17.489 align:start line:85% position:10% size:53%
and we'll wrap it up.

00:19:19.258 --> 00:19:21.593 align:start line:79% position:25% size:50%
JOHN: So we are here
in Angola

00:19:21.660 --> 00:19:25.497 align:center line:58% position:40% size:58%
on the way to a village
where Victorina has had

00:19:25.564 --> 00:19:29.434 align:center line:58% position:43% size:63%
a life transformation
through Christmas Smiles.

00:19:29.501 --> 00:19:31.503 align:start line:79% position:20% size:58%
We're talking about
a beautiful little girl

00:19:31.570 --> 00:19:34.773 align:center line:79% position:50% size:68%
who was born with
such a tragic cleft palate,

00:19:34.840 --> 00:19:36.909 align:center line:79% position:50% size:40%
one of the worst
I'd ever seen,

00:19:36.975 --> 00:19:39.444 align:center line:79% position:50% size:48%
that's been
a two-year endeavor

00:19:39.511 --> 00:19:42.548 align:center line:79% position:50% size:48%
that has been with
many ups and downs.

00:19:42.614 --> 00:19:44.616 align:center line:79% position:50% size:40%
She was
so malnourished.

00:19:44.683 --> 00:19:48.287 align:start line:79% position:18% size:65%
She had wounds on her body
that were so infected.

00:19:48.353 --> 00:19:51.657 align:start line:79% position:15% size:70%
She literally spent
three months in the hospital

00:19:51.723 --> 00:19:54.126 align:center line:79% position:50% size:43%
before she could
have her surgery.

00:19:54.192 --> 00:19:57.062 align:start line:58% position:33% size:58%
ASHTON: I just remember
thinking, Lord,

00:19:57.129 --> 00:20:00.065 align:center line:58% position:58% size:65%
if this is your will,
you have to make it happen

00:20:00.132 --> 00:20:03.201 align:center line:58% position:68% size:45%
because there were
so many barriers.

00:20:03.268 --> 00:20:05.270 align:start line:79% position:33% size:33%
God was
just faithful

00:20:05.337 --> 00:20:10.008 align:center line:79% position:50% size:55%
and I'm excited to see
how she looks today.

00:20:10.075 --> 00:20:12.477 align:start line:79% position:25% size:50%
JOHN: The first time
I saw Victorina,

00:20:12.544 --> 00:20:15.847 align:center line:79% position:50% size:73%
I saw her off in the distance
on a huge granite boulder

00:20:15.914 --> 00:20:18.717 align:center line:79% position:50% size:70%
with her and two women
pounding out what little bit

00:20:18.784 --> 00:20:22.721 align:center line:79% position:50% size:63%
of cornmeal that they had
to make a meal.

00:20:22.788 --> 00:20:26.491 align:start line:79% position:15% size:68%
When I got up here my heart
just sank for her.

00:20:26.558 --> 00:20:30.896 align:start line:74% position:18% size:63%
We left, we went back
to the village that night
where we were camping,

00:20:30.963 --> 00:20:32.965 align:center line:79% position:50% size:63%
and after a long exchange
with the kids

00:20:33.031 --> 00:20:35.033 align:center line:79% position:50% size:33%
it was time
to go to bed.

00:20:35.100 --> 00:20:37.102 align:center line:79% position:50% size:45%
Ashton gets up
and she walks over

00:20:37.169 --> 00:20:40.973 align:center line:79% position:50% size:55%
and she put her hands
on Victorina's cheeks.

00:20:41.039 --> 00:20:43.508 align:start line:79% position:25% size:50%
Ashton was trying
to lovingly tell her

00:20:43.575 --> 00:20:46.211 align:center line:85% position:50% size:55%
how beautiful she was.

00:20:46.278 --> 00:20:50.749 align:start line:79% position:18% size:63%
Victorina ran off crying,
devastated.

00:20:50.816 --> 00:20:53.018 align:start line:79% position:20% size:58%
Why? Because she wanted
to dwell in the shadow.

00:20:53.085 --> 00:20:55.387 align:center line:79% position:50% size:68%
She wanted to be hidden.
She didn't want to be seen.

00:20:55.454 --> 00:20:57.489 align:center line:85% position:50% size:40%
She was ashamed.

00:20:57.556 --> 00:21:01.593 align:start line:79% position:23% size:55%
She was literally
in a prison of despair

00:21:01.660 --> 00:21:03.862 align:center line:79% position:50% size:70%
that so broke Ashton's heart
that she spent

00:21:03.929 --> 00:21:06.498 align:center line:79% position:50% size:53%
the rest of the night
crying in our tent.

00:21:06.565 --> 00:21:09.201 align:start line:79% position:25% size:50%
She asked me, "Dad,
isn't there anything

00:21:09.267 --> 00:21:12.070 align:start line:79% position:30% size:38%
we can do
for Victorina?"

00:21:12.137 --> 00:21:14.840 align:start line:79% position:28% size:45%
It began a journey
that took

00:21:14.906 --> 00:21:18.510 align:start line:79% position:25% size:48%
hundreds of people,
hundreds of hours,

00:21:18.577 --> 00:21:23.882 align:center line:79% position:50% size:45%
and multiple trips
to make happen.

00:21:23.949 --> 00:21:29.388 align:start line:79% position:23% size:53%
And now, it has been
a day of celebration.

00:21:29.454 --> 00:21:31.757 align:start line:79% position:28% size:43%
It has been a day
of miracles.

00:21:31.823 --> 00:21:35.494 align:center line:79% position:50% size:58%
It has been a day
of wonder and laughter.

00:21:35.560 --> 00:21:42.234 align:start line:79% position:13% size:73%
Here's a little girl who just
two years ago had no friends.

00:21:42.300 --> 00:21:44.269 align:start line:79% position:13% size:73%
And as I'm watching her today
in class

00:21:44.336 --> 00:21:47.172 align:center line:79% position:50% size:68%
and she's raising her hand
and answering the questions

00:21:47.239 --> 00:21:49.374 align:center line:79% position:50% size:55%
from the teacher
in her multiplication,

00:21:49.441 --> 00:21:51.443 align:center line:79% position:50% size:45%
she goes along
and she introduces

00:21:51.510 --> 00:21:53.612 align:center line:79% position:50% size:58%
each one of her friends
to me by name;

00:21:53.679 --> 00:21:58.083 align:center line:79% position:50% size:68%
playing their dance game
or kicking the soccer ball.

00:21:58.150 --> 00:22:02.721 align:start line:79% position:20% size:60%
Victorina has moved from
a prison to an open land

00:22:02.788 --> 00:22:06.625 align:center line:79% position:50% size:58%
of possibilities simply
through your generosity

00:22:06.692 --> 00:22:09.127 align:center line:79% position:50% size:48%
and your kindness
and your compassion

00:22:09.194 --> 00:22:11.630 align:center line:79% position:50% size:68%
through
<i>Christmas Shoes and Smiles</i>.

00:22:11.697 --> 00:22:14.800 align:start line:79% position:20% size:60%
Victorina is an example
of thousands of children

00:22:14.866 --> 00:22:17.669 align:center line:79% position:50% size:53%
around the world that
we can help this year

00:22:17.736 --> 00:22:20.105 align:center line:85% position:50% size:55%
with a simple surgery.

00:22:20.172 --> 00:22:22.674 align:center line:79% position:50% size:55%
There are so many ways
that we can

00:22:22.741 --> 00:22:25.544 align:center line:79% position:50% size:45%
bring smiles
to families' lives

00:22:25.610 --> 00:22:29.748 align:center line:79% position:50% size:50%
through giving
to Christmas smiles.

00:22:31.817 --> 00:22:33.151 align:start line:85% position:10% size:58%
TAMMY: I am so invested

00:22:33.218 --> 00:22:34.553 align:start line:85% position:10% size:35%
in that story.

00:22:34.619 --> 00:22:35.687 align:start line:85% position:10% size:40%
Oh, my goodness,

00:22:35.754 --> 00:22:37.022 align:start line:85% position:10% size:68%
what an incredible journey!

00:22:37.089 --> 00:22:38.457 align:start line:85% position:10% size:68%
The life of one little girl

00:22:38.523 --> 00:22:39.791 align:start line:85% position:10% size:40%
named Victorina.

00:22:39.858 --> 00:22:41.927 align:start line:85% position:10% size:75%
And to now see her restoration

00:22:41.993 --> 00:22:42.994 align:start line:85% position:10% size:35%
that came from

00:22:43.061 --> 00:22:44.196 align:start line:85% position:10% size:40%
the one surgery,

00:22:44.262 --> 00:22:45.697 align:start line:85% position:10% size:40%
it's almost hard

00:22:45.764 --> 00:22:47.065 align:start line:85% position:10% size:53%
to put it into words.

00:22:47.132 --> 00:22:48.333 align:start line:85% position:10% size:75%
What we just watched together,

00:22:48.400 --> 00:22:49.901 align:start line:85% position:10% size:58%
what we just witnessed,

00:22:49.968 --> 00:22:51.937 align:start line:85% position:10% size:50%
was a total miracle.

00:22:52.003 --> 00:22:53.739 align:start line:85% position:10% size:60%
Victorina has truly been

00:22:53.805 --> 00:22:55.407 align:start line:85% position:10% size:23%
set free.

00:22:55.474 --> 00:22:56.641 align:start line:85% position:10% size:43%
You could see it.

00:22:56.708 --> 00:22:58.110 align:start line:85% position:10% size:58%
Her smile tells a story

00:22:58.176 --> 00:22:59.377 align:start line:85% position:10% size:50%
of what love can do,

00:22:59.444 --> 00:23:00.979 align:start line:85% position:10% size:43%
what hope can do,

00:23:01.046 --> 00:23:02.647 align:start line:85% position:10% size:40%
what you can do.

00:23:02.714 --> 00:23:04.216 align:start line:85% position:10% size:65%
Ultimately, God the Father

00:23:04.282 --> 00:23:05.283 align:start line:85% position:10% size:23%
sees her.

00:23:05.350 --> 00:23:06.485 align:start line:85% position:10% size:68%
He has never taken his eyes

00:23:06.551 --> 00:23:07.586 align:start line:85% position:10% size:28%
off of her.

00:23:07.652 --> 00:23:09.187 align:start line:85% position:10% size:40%
And he sent John

00:23:09.254 --> 00:23:10.422 align:start line:85% position:10% size:48%
and he sent Ashton,

00:23:10.489 --> 00:23:12.190 align:start line:85% position:10% size:45%
and he's sent you.

00:23:12.257 --> 00:23:14.326 align:start line:85% position:10% size:60%
Your prayers, the gifts,

00:23:14.392 --> 00:23:15.560 align:start line:85% position:10% size:60%
the compassion of people

00:23:15.627 --> 00:23:17.395 align:start line:85% position:10% size:63%
just like you has changed

00:23:17.462 --> 00:23:19.464 align:start line:85% position:10% size:45%
her world forever.

00:23:19.798 --> 00:23:21.066 align:start line:10% position:10% size:50%
Victorina's story is

00:23:21.133 --> 00:23:22.334 align:start line:10% position:10% size:45%
a living testimony

00:23:22.400 --> 00:23:23.435 align:start line:10% position:10% size:50%
of what happens when

00:23:23.502 --> 00:23:24.603 align:start line:10% position:10% size:73%
people come together and say,

00:23:24.669 --> 00:23:26.872 align:start line:10% position:10% size:50%
yes, I want to help.

00:23:26.938 --> 00:23:28.206 align:start line:10% position:10% size:30%
Count me in.

00:23:28.273 --> 00:23:30.308 align:start line:10% position:10% size:68%
Now we have the opportunity

00:23:30.375 --> 00:23:33.178 align:start line:10% position:10% size:63%
to say yes again, because

00:23:33.245 --> 00:23:34.713 align:start line:10% position:10% size:65%
there are so many children

00:23:34.780 --> 00:23:36.014 align:start line:10% position:10% size:65%
around the world right now

00:23:36.081 --> 00:23:37.115 align:start line:10% position:10% size:55%
hiding in the shadows,

00:23:37.182 --> 00:23:38.717 align:start line:10% position:10% size:43%
waiting for help,

00:23:38.784 --> 00:23:40.185 align:start line:10% position:10% size:50%
waiting for healing,

00:23:40.252 --> 00:23:41.486 align:start line:10% position:10% size:48%
waiting for someone

00:23:41.553 --> 00:23:43.622 align:start line:10% position:10% size:30%
to see them.

00:23:43.688 --> 00:23:44.790 align:start line:10% position:10% size:65%
You might not realize this

00:23:44.856 --> 00:23:46.291 align:start line:10% position:10% size:43%
because I didn't.

00:23:46.358 --> 00:23:47.359 align:start line:10% position:10% size:63%
But something as small as

00:23:47.425 --> 00:23:49.161 align:start line:10% position:10% size:70%
a cleft palate can mean life

00:23:49.227 --> 00:23:51.229 align:start line:10% position:10% size:68%
or death for these children

00:23:51.296 --> 00:23:52.864 align:start line:10% position:10% size:58%
if it's left untreated.

00:23:52.931 --> 00:23:54.132 align:start line:10% position:10% size:68%
So this is what your giving

00:23:54.199 --> 00:23:55.400 align:start line:10% position:10% size:35%
will do today.

00:23:55.467 --> 00:23:57.669 align:start line:10% position:10% size:73%
It costs us just $500 to help

00:23:57.736 --> 00:23:59.004 align:start line:10% position:10% size:65%
provide corrective surgery

00:23:59.070 --> 00:24:00.639 align:start line:10% position:10% size:73%
for a child, and provide them

00:24:00.705 --> 00:24:02.607 align:start line:10% position:10% size:58%
with a brand-new smile.

00:24:02.674 --> 00:24:03.875 align:start line:10% position:10% size:45%
Would you consider

00:24:03.942 --> 00:24:05.076 align:start line:10% position:10% size:45%
giving that today?

00:24:05.143 --> 00:24:06.311 align:start line:10% position:10% size:63%
Would you consider giving

00:24:06.378 --> 00:24:07.646 align:start line:10% position:10% size:63%
$1,000 to provide surgery

00:24:07.712 --> 00:24:09.347 align:start line:10% position:10% size:43%
for two children?

00:24:09.414 --> 00:24:10.882 align:start line:10% position:10% size:73%
This time of year, we're also

00:24:10.949 --> 00:24:12.751 align:start line:10% position:10% size:60%
seeking to provide shoes

00:24:12.818 --> 00:24:15.253 align:start line:10% position:10% size:53%
for 150,000 children.

00:24:15.320 --> 00:24:16.655 align:start line:10% position:10% size:45%
That's incredible!

00:24:16.721 --> 00:24:18.023 align:start line:10% position:10% size:50%
Who have never owned

00:24:18.089 --> 00:24:19.157 align:start line:10% position:10% size:50%
a new pair of shoes.

00:24:19.224 --> 00:24:20.425 align:start line:10% position:10% size:53%
Can you imagine that?

00:24:20.492 --> 00:24:21.593 align:start line:10% position:10% size:73%
But we want to get it to them

00:24:21.660 --> 00:24:22.994 align:start line:10% position:10% size:55%
in time for Christmas.

00:24:23.061 --> 00:24:24.763 align:start line:10% position:10% size:63%
So your gift today of $36

00:24:24.830 --> 00:24:27.299 align:start line:10% position:10% size:75%
will help provide ten children

00:24:27.365 --> 00:24:28.366 align:start line:10% position:10% size:53%
with their very first

00:24:28.433 --> 00:24:29.634 align:start line:10% position:10% size:35%
pair of shoes,

00:24:29.701 --> 00:24:32.103 align:start line:10% position:10% size:60%
$72 will provide for 20,

00:24:32.170 --> 00:24:34.105 align:start line:10% position:10% size:70%
and $180 will help us secure

00:24:34.172 --> 00:24:35.340 align:start line:10% position:10% size:60%
and ship Christmas shoes

00:24:35.407 --> 00:24:36.908 align:start line:10% position:10% size:38%
for 50 children

00:24:36.975 --> 00:24:39.110 align:start line:10% position:10% size:63%
in time for the holidays.

00:24:39.177 --> 00:24:40.245 align:start line:10% position:10% size:50%
I want to invite you

00:24:40.312 --> 00:24:42.113 align:start line:10% position:10% size:73%
right now to say yes with me.

00:24:42.180 --> 00:24:43.648 align:start line:10% position:10% size:60%
Come on, we can do this.

00:24:43.715 --> 00:24:44.883 align:start line:10% position:10% size:55%
Please don't hesitate.

00:24:44.950 --> 00:24:46.885 align:start line:10% position:10% size:75%
If you're feeling led to give,

00:24:46.952 --> 00:24:48.587 align:start line:10% position:10% size:63%
go online, give us a call

00:24:48.653 --> 00:24:50.288 align:start line:10% position:10% size:60%
right now, because these

00:24:50.355 --> 00:24:51.523 align:start line:10% position:10% size:38%
children simply

00:24:51.590 --> 00:24:53.358 align:start line:10% position:10% size:60%
cannot wait another day.

00:24:53.425 --> 00:24:54.526 align:start line:10% position:10% size:53%
You may not meet them

00:24:54.593 --> 00:24:56.261 align:start line:10% position:10% size:58%
face-to-face today, but

00:24:56.328 --> 00:24:58.096 align:start line:10% position:10% size:70%
you will know in this moment

00:24:58.163 --> 00:25:01.499 align:start line:10% position:10% size:63%
you helped change a life.

00:25:02.500 --> 00:25:05.003 align:start line:58% position:25% size:50%
<i>Poverty is a killer,</i>
<i>and because of it,</i>

00:25:05.070 --> 00:25:07.072 align:center line:58% position:50% size:43%
<i>children</i>
<i>needlessly suffer</i>

00:25:07.138 --> 00:25:09.107 align:center line:58% position:50% size:65%
<i>not only from lack of food</i>
<i>and clean water,</i>

00:25:09.174 --> 00:25:11.509 align:center line:58% position:50% size:75%
<i>but also from a lack of things</i>
<i>we take for granted,</i>

00:25:11.576 --> 00:25:13.812 align:center line:58% position:50% size:38%
<i>such as</i>
<i>a healthy smile</i>

00:25:13.879 --> 00:25:15.914 align:center line:58% position:50% size:38%
<i>or a protective</i>
<i>pair of shoes.</i>

00:25:15.981 --> 00:25:18.416 align:start line:58% position:18% size:63%
<i>Far too many children</i>
<i>living in extreme poverty</i>

00:25:18.483 --> 00:25:20.485 align:center line:58% position:50% size:40%
<i>have never owned</i>
<i>a pair of shoes.</i>

00:25:20.552 --> 00:25:22.621 align:start line:58% position:30% size:38%
<i>And while that</i>
<i>may seem minor,</i>

00:25:22.687 --> 00:25:24.723 align:center line:58% position:50% size:55%
<i>walking with bare feet</i>
<i>puts them at risk</i>

00:25:24.789 --> 00:25:28.660 align:center line:58% position:50% size:75%
<i>of painful infections, injury,</i>
<i>and life-threatening diseases.</i>

00:25:28.727 --> 00:25:31.329 align:start line:10% position:15% size:68%
<i>But this Christmas, you can</i>
<i>bring hope and healing.</i>

00:25:31.396 --> 00:25:33.598 align:start line:10% position:18% size:63%
<i>Your gift today will help</i>
<i>provide new shoes</i>

00:25:33.665 --> 00:25:37.435 align:center line:10% position:50% size:63%
<i>for 150,000 children</i>
<i>in time for the holidays.</i>

00:25:37.502 --> 00:25:40.639 align:start line:10% position:23% size:55%
<i>And for some children,</i>
<i>a beautiful new smile.</i>

00:25:40.705 --> 00:25:44.809 align:start line:10% position:20% size:58%
<i>Your gift of $36</i>
<i>will help provide shoes</i>
<i>for ten children,</i>

00:25:44.876 --> 00:25:47.212 align:center line:10% position:50% size:38%
<i>$72 will help</i>
<i>provide for 20,</i>

00:25:47.279 --> 00:25:50.048 align:center line:10% position:50% size:53%
<i>$180 will help</i>
<i>provide shoes for 50,</i>

00:25:50.115 --> 00:25:53.518 align:center line:10% position:50% size:70%
<i>and a gift of $500 will help</i>
<i>provide a cleft surgery,</i>

00:25:53.585 --> 00:25:56.187 align:center line:10% position:50% size:60%
<i>restoring</i>
<i>a child's smile forever.</i>

00:25:56.254 --> 00:25:58.256 align:start line:10% position:38% size:53%
<i>As a thank you for</i>
<i>your gift of support,</i>

00:25:58.323 --> 00:26:00.258 align:center line:10% position:63% size:58%
<i>be sure to request</i>
<i>the beautifully crafted</i>

00:26:00.325 --> 00:26:02.360 align:center line:10% position:73% size:35%
<i>yellow crystal</i>
<i>shoe ornament,</i>

00:26:02.427 --> 00:26:04.829 align:center line:10% position:65% size:53%
<i>a treasure to display</i>
<i>each Christmas.</i>

00:26:04.896 --> 00:26:07.399 align:start line:10% position:10% size:40%
<i>With your gift</i>
<i>of $100 or more,</i>

00:26:07.465 --> 00:26:10.168 align:center line:10% position:45% size:68%
<i>you may request</i>
<i>this keepsake set featuring</i>

00:26:10.235 --> 00:26:13.672 align:center line:10% position:40% size:58%
<i>four of LIFE's colorful</i>
<i>crystal shoe ornaments.</i>

00:26:13.738 --> 00:26:16.942 align:start line:10% position:10% size:60%
<i>Finally, please consider</i>
<i>a gift of $1,000 or more</i>

00:26:17.008 --> 00:26:19.911 align:center line:10% position:40% size:58%
<i>to help provide</i>
<i>over 275 pairs of shoes</i>

00:26:19.978 --> 00:26:22.681 align:center line:10% position:45% size:68%
<i>or two children with</i>
<i>corrective smile surgeries,</i>

00:26:22.747 --> 00:26:27.352 align:center line:10% position:45% size:68%
<i>and you may request the</i>
<i>beautiful bronze sculpture,</i>
<i>"Lion of Judah."</i>

00:26:27.419 --> 00:26:32.023 align:start line:10% position:15% size:68%
<i>Please call, write, or make</i>
<i>your gift online today.</i>

00:26:33.124 --> 00:26:34.225 align:start line:58% position:10% size:33%
TAMMY: I hope

00:26:34.292 --> 00:26:35.393 align:start line:58% position:10% size:48%
you're going online

00:26:35.460 --> 00:26:36.461 align:start line:58% position:10% size:60%
and giving the best gift

00:26:36.528 --> 00:26:37.595 align:start line:58% position:10% size:60%
that you can give today.

00:26:37.662 --> 00:26:38.830 align:start line:58% position:10% size:55%
Please know it changes

00:26:38.897 --> 00:26:40.665 align:start line:58% position:10% size:55%
so many lives forever.

00:26:40.732 --> 00:26:41.866 align:start line:58% position:10% size:58%
And I want to be a part

00:26:41.933 --> 00:26:43.068 align:start line:58% position:10% size:58%
of that kind of change.

00:26:43.134 --> 00:26:44.235 align:start line:58% position:10% size:65%
So do whatever you can do.

00:26:44.302 --> 00:26:45.804 align:start line:58% position:10% size:73%
And let me just say, Meshali,

00:26:45.870 --> 00:26:47.138 align:start line:58% position:10% size:65%
I'm so glad you were here.

00:26:47.205 --> 00:26:48.773 align:start line:58% position:10% size:58%
I've loved meeting you.

00:26:48.840 --> 00:26:49.975 align:start line:58% position:10% size:53%
I've loved this time.

00:26:50.041 --> 00:26:51.009 align:start line:58% position:10% size:40%
It was so short.

00:26:51.076 --> 00:26:52.077 align:start line:58% position:10% size:60%
MESHALI: It's so mutual.

00:26:52.143 --> 00:26:53.178 align:start line:58% position:10% size:35%
It's my honor.

00:26:53.244 --> 00:26:54.245 align:start line:58% position:10% size:50%
TAMMY: Tell me where

00:26:54.312 --> 00:26:55.447 align:start line:58% position:10% size:50%
can people find you,

00:26:55.513 --> 00:26:56.514 align:start line:58% position:10% size:33%
and the book?

00:26:56.581 --> 00:26:57.649 align:start line:58% position:10% size:63%
MESHALI: They can find me

00:26:57.716 --> 00:26:59.351 align:start line:58% position:10% size:58%
at Meshali.co, and then

00:26:59.417 --> 00:27:01.219 align:start line:58% position:10% size:68%
all social media platforms.

00:27:01.286 --> 00:27:02.654 align:start line:58% position:10% size:48%
It's just @Meshali,

00:27:02.721 --> 00:27:04.689 align:start line:58% position:10% size:35%
M-e-s-h-a-l-i.

00:27:04.756 --> 00:27:06.157 align:start line:58% position:10% size:53%
The book is available

00:27:06.224 --> 00:27:07.692 align:start line:58% position:10% size:63%
where all books are sold.

00:27:07.759 --> 00:27:08.760 align:start line:58% position:10% size:45%
Thank you so much.

00:27:08.827 --> 00:27:09.828 align:start line:58% position:10% size:53%
TAMMY: It's gorgeous.

00:27:09.894 --> 00:27:10.895 align:start line:58% position:10% size:50%
I'm so proud of you.

00:27:10.962 --> 00:27:11.963 align:start line:58% position:10% size:50%
What a great journey

00:27:12.030 --> 00:27:12.964 align:start line:58% position:10% size:35%
for your life.

00:27:13.031 --> 00:27:14.099 align:start line:58% position:10% size:48%
I'm so proud of you

00:27:14.165 --> 00:27:15.166 align:start line:58% position:10% size:58%
doing incredible things

00:27:15.233 --> 00:27:16.267 align:start line:58% position:10% size:58%
for the Kingdom of God.

00:27:16.334 --> 00:27:17.402 align:start line:58% position:10% size:63%
Thank you for being here.

00:27:17.469 --> 00:27:18.737 align:start line:58% position:10% size:58%
We'll see you next time

00:27:18.803 --> 00:27:21.706 align:start line:58% position:10% size:35%
on<i> Life Today</i>.

00:27:28.980 --> 00:27:36.154 align:end line:10% position:90% size:03%
♪

00:27:45.330 --> 00:27:52.537 align:end line:10% position:90% size:03%
♪

00:28:01.713 --> 00:28:03.782 align:start line:63% position:33% size:33%
<i>Widowed at</i>
<i>an early age,</i>

00:28:03.848 --> 00:28:06.584 align:center line:63% position:50% size:55%
<i>Rachel never dreamed</i>
<i>it could happen again.</i>

00:28:06.651 --> 00:28:08.787 align:start line:63% position:15% size:70%
&gt;&gt; I already had my trouble.
I won't have any more.

00:28:08.853 --> 00:28:12.524 align:start line:63% position:15% size:70%
&gt;&gt; Surely, God won't give me
something like that again.

00:28:12.590 --> 00:28:16.061 align:start line:10% position:13% size:73%
<i>LIFE Today is made</i>
<i>possible by the supporters of</i>
<i>LIFE Outreach International.</i>

00:28:16.127 --> 00:28:19.164 align:center line:10% position:50% size:70%
<i>Your gift will be</i>
<i>used exclusively for</i>
<i>the exempt purposes of LIFE.</i>

00:28:19.230 --> 00:28:21.232 align:start line:10% position:23% size:53%
<i>The ministry features</i>
<i>specific outreaches</i>

00:28:21.299 --> 00:28:23.301 align:center line:10% position:50% size:68%
<i>as examples of the programs</i>
<i>it supports and conducts.</i>

00:28:23.368 --> 00:28:25.370 align:start line:10% position:18% size:63%
<i>Gifts are considered</i>
<i>to be without restriction</i>

00:28:25.437 --> 00:28:27.505 align:center line:10% position:50% size:68%
<i>as to use unless explicitly</i>
<i>stipulated by the donor.</i>

00:28:27.572 --> 00:28:29.808 align:center line:10% position:50% size:60%
<i>The ministry is a member</i>
<i>of the ECFA.</i>